You would think after nearly two years of practicing how to not go crazy during a two week wait, that I would be getting pretty good at it, handling things pretty well, getting the hang of things, have things totally under control.
But, ladies, that’s not the case here at all.
After two years of negative pregnancy tests, one failed IUI and getting ready for a second IUI, I’m still looking for distractions.
It still remains a two weeks that make me want to symptom check and google all those crazy forums that nobody should be spending time on. No one.
So with that being said, I’m not speaking from a place of total serenity where I can just float in the clouds during the two weeks. Following are some of the things that have consistently helped prevent me from going completely (key word) insane. I know I’m not alone here. We are all doing this together.
1. Date with your partner
This should just be general practice anyways. Make time for each other. Date each other. Get dressed up for each other. Take the extra second to spray on their favorite perfume or do your hair the way they love. Surprise them. Don’t just do this leading up to ovulation, you have to keep this going. Go on a date during the two week wait. When you’re out, do not talk about this trying to conceive process. You both spend enough energy worrying about why in the world this is not happening as fast as you’d like so leave this conversation back at home and enjoy the heck out of each other. Check in, like actually check in and talk about life. The kind of stuff you talked about before this consumed your minds. Stretch the night out, don’t just eat, bail and head straight home to pajamas and instagram. Really make an evening (or day) out of it.
2. Date with your girlfriends
Because sometimes there’s uncensored conversations that only the ladies will get! You know what I’m sayin’? When was the last time you went out and shook your booty? Ate ice cream on the couch while watching something ridiculous like The Bachelor? Do you know how good for the soul it is to throw popcorn at the tv while watching The Bachelor with a group of gals? Trust me on this one.
3. Spa day at home
It’s easy to say you don’t have time for this. I use that excuse all the time. It’s lousy, throw that excuse in the trash bin and hop in the bath. Make it a habit. I’ve been trying to make a conscious effort of making Sunday evenings a date with myself for self-care. Put it on the calendar like you would a meeting. Put a face mask on, pour some bubbles, epsom salt and/or aromatherapy in the water, grab a book, turn on some easy listening music and just freaking relax. Light some candles. Close your eyes. Do whatever it takes to allow yourself to relax, allow your shoulders to drop, let go of all the tension that builds up around trying to grow your family. Paint your nails. Your toes. Don’t head straight to chores afterwards! Sit in the calmness you just created and focus on taking care of you!
(But not those forums! You know which ones I’m talking about!) I know not all people read like a maniac like me, but reading is a good way to remove yourself from your stressors and enter someone else’s world and perspective. It doesn’t have to be a 900 page novel, you know. Read a magazine if you don’t like to read books. A graphic novel. Blogs – I love blogs! I mean, that might be pretty obvious since I am writing one but I really like to hear what you all have to say.
5. Go outside
Allow me to sound like the California coastal hippie chick that I am at heart for a second – Breathe in the fresh air!! Seriously. Do it. Go for a walk. Go for a hike. Go sit on a park bench. Have lunch outside. Plant something in your garden. Create a garden. (I haven’t yet figured out how to get them to stay alive, but boy do I plant them and enjoy them until they wither!) Run. Jog. Skip. When was the last time you skipped? Ride a bike. Take pictures. Be a tourist in your town. Stop and smell the freaking roses. Daydream.
6. Be creative
Get artsy. Paint. Draw. Shoot some photos. Get crafty. I’m no artist, but I doodle a lot. Like the kind of doodling you think of in a middle schoolers folder when they should be paying attention, that’s what I do. A lot. Bullet journals are a fun way to start doodling, canvas’s are dirt cheap at Michaels, watercolors are not just for kids. Write a poem. Journal. Paint ugly furniture (I can’t tell you how many times my husband has rolled his eyes at me for making him pull over for something ugly and free or picking out something at the thrift store because I just know I can make it beautiful and alive again. Or I won’t, and we just take it back to where it came from).
7. Go to the gym or a fitness class
Even if you don’t have a membership. So many places have a “try your first class free” or “try us for 3 days free!” This may not be as easy to do if you live in a small town but if you live in a bigger city like I do, you can work out for free all over the city. Grab a friend. Grab your partner. Get active together. If you’re anything like me, getting me there is almost the whole batter, I complain the whole way through and then I feel totally amazing afterwards – like a strong ass woman!
8. Do a puzzle
I don’t think there is anything that takes my mind off every little thing quite like doing a puzzle does. They are so hard to walk away from and sometimes you just need something that takes up all your thought! It’s satisfying to have something you can actually solve.
9. Game Night
This is fun with just you and your partner but you can involve the family or you can invite friends over for a game night. I always laugh so hard when playing games with others (that sounds like I’m someone that messes with people’s minds, but I swear that’s not what I meant). Put down the phones and have some good old fashion fun!
This process of conceiving a baby can be draining, especially if you’ve been giving at a go for quite awhile. Don’t let it be. You have the power to turn that around by remembering to live a little and in the moment, enjoying the little things, enjoying your people, enjoying YOURSELF.
You are beautiful. You are strong. You are a gosh darn warrior.
You got this.
We all do.
Our time will come, and when it does it will be beautiful.
Let’s make the wait beautiful too.