A baby shower is not something we thought we would do. I have avoided going to them for the past three years because they are so triggers. I have walked completely around stores to avoid baby things. I have hidden pregnant people and new parents on my Facebook account because it is too hard to look at.
We never had a baby shower for Adeline, however we still had bought things for her and had received things for her. We had the choice of returning the things or letting them sit in the closet. We let them sit. There was no way I could walk into a store to return something I never got to use for her.
After having a stillbirth, battling infertility for years, experiencing miscarriage and a boat load of triggering moments, we did not think we would be brave enough to have a baby shower. We did not think we would want to possibly have a party hosted that could hurt someone else. We did not think we could open gifts in front of people without totally collapsing into tears.
And then, somewhere along this miracle pregnancy, our courage started to shake it’s way out. We decided that, yes, we wanted to experience everything we could with this pregnancy regardless of the outcome. We wanted to let our friends and family shower us with love and support after not knowing what to do to support us along our heartbreaking journey for so long.
So, we booked flights for a 24 hour trip to California from Seattle for a baby shower for our miracle baby. And we are so glad we did.
The last time we’ve been around this much family at one time was our wedding three years ago. Shower aside, it made our hearts swell to just be able to spend time with the people we love – even if only for a few hours. We got to hug and congratulate a friend for the first time since she got married. We got to meet the newest baby cousin. See how much some of the other “baby” cousins have grown. We soaked up every second with some of our most favorite people.
Holy cow, my family knows how to throw a party and show up for a party. My cousin Cynthia, cousin-in-law Alli, and Aunt Jeanette put together the most magical shower down to every last detail. It was more than we could have ever asked for or dreamed of. It was so very special. (Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!)
Little baby boy Rapp, we are so excited to meet you and we are growing more nervous by the day on how in the world you’re going to get from in there to out here. Ha! 51 days until your due date. 51!