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You are here: Home / Blog / Baby’s First Easter During a Pandemic (What is in my 5 months basket from around the house)

Baby’s First Easter During a Pandemic (What is in my 5 months basket from around the house)

April 10, 2020 Blog, Family, Pregnancy & Infant Loss

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Thinking back on my childhood, Easter was really something special. We weren’t a family that put on our Sunday best for the Easter Sunday service. Instead, we put our casual clothes on, grabbed a cozy sweatshirt and jumped in the car to head to our family cabin. At the cabin, we were greeted by aunts and uncles, cousins, family dogs, and a lot of land with lush forest and a distant view of the ocean just past the bluffs.

Shortly after arriving to the cabin, the kids and some of the adults would pile into a car while the other adults stayed back. It was just a short drive on Highway 1 to a nearby beach, or at least it felt like it with the buzz of our Easter high in the car. We would pull into the small parking lot, climb out of the car and take off running for the beach. The waves crashed, we drew in the sand in with sticks, buried each other and dug big giant holes in the sand, all while the Easter bunny was busy at work back at the cabin.

Returning back to the property and bouncing in our seats as the car bobbed down the gravel dirt road, we’d start to spot the Easter eggs we had dyed just days before, sitting perfectly in fresh cabbage; on fence posts, tucked in the ferns, at the base of the trees, on giant, old redwood stumps, scattered across the lawn. The Easter magic was everywhere we turned, and even more so the more we hunted.

I have dreamed of the day that I could recreate these cherished memories with children of my own. That time finally came – we bought airline tickets, booked a rental car, and coordinated with family that now also has children of their own. I started to imagine the colored Easter eggs, Pez, chocolate, and other gifts pouring out of my sons Easter basket on Sunday morning.

The Play Gym by Lovevery

Until, the world grew eerie and uncertain as travel bans and stay at home orders were issued and we all tucked into the comfort of our homes in hopes of staying safe from the Covid-19 Coronavirus world pandemic. We began to grieve our cancelled trip while all the same counting our blessings for our health, shelter, food, and jobs that allowed us to work from home to provide financial security.

Easter
The Easter Bunnies House

It’s a really bizarre time we are in and it feels heavy, overwhelming and scary. We should have been on a plane yesterday, should have been waking up in my old childhood bedroom this morning and taking Beckett to my favorite beaches for the first time.

We are at home in Washington, where the spring air feels promising and the news feels draining, where we have each other but can’t see others.

Easter may not be what we imagined it would be this year, but we are going to do all that we can to make it special. I know that at the end of the day, our son won’t remember this day but we will. We won’t be able to tell stories about his first Easter at the cabin with his cousins, and show him the Easter bunnies house in an old, hollowed out redwood tree stump. But we will be able to tell him about his first Easter at our first family home, with treats and treasures and loads of love. We will tell him how we were so fortunate to feel safe and to be together while so many people in the world could not say the same.

My parents have sent a few things for B’s Easter basket, I’ve ordered a few things, and I’ve looked around my home for things I already had. It may seem silly to put together a basket for a baby who is only 5 months old, but I’ve spent my entire life dreaming of the holidays with my own kids.

In my 5 month olds Easter basket:

Basket – Target
Jellycat Bashful Bunny – Nordstrom
Jellycat Duck – Amazon
Jellycat ‘Bunny Soother’ Blanket Lovie – Nordstrom
If I Were a Duck Touch and Feel Board Book – Amazon
Bunny Rattle Ecru Linen – bitte
Baby Organic Wooden Bunny Teether – Amazon
Silicone Bead + Wood Ring Teether – bitte
Blue Breakfast Buddies Zippy – Little Sleepies

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Happy birthday, Adeline. Year five. The edges aren Happy birthday, Adeline. Year five. The edges aren’t as jagged anymore from day to day but when the waves come crashing, they still feel just as intense and heavy. You would have been the best big sister to Beckett. He points to the Angel in his room in the mornings and we say “good morning” everyday. He gave me a kiss from his “Addie Bear” at bedtime tonight. He knows. I’m just so angry I can’t watch the two of you grow up together. We all love you so much and miss you and wish you were here with us.
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📸: @maplehollowphotography
Necklace: @seededhope
Posting holiday content on schedule would be way o Posting holiday content on schedule would be way off brand for me - so here we are, two days late in true Jean fashion. Any one else have high expectations and poor execution? 🤪 Regardless, how CUTE is he?!
My Valentine’s ❄️🤍❄️ . A snowy Valent My Valentine’s ❄️🤍❄️
.
A snowy Valentine’s Day feels all kinds of magical. Taking a minute for myself (whoa!) and watching the snow fall outside my window from under the coziest of blankets.
.
I think the best snow days are the ones where people from California don’t need to drive anywhere 🤣 What does your “perfect” snow day look like?
My fragile February heart needed this fun snow day My fragile February heart needed this fun snow day with my boy. Next week will be two years since we transferred this little frosty ❄️ in the middle of a Seattle snowstorm. I still can’t believe science brought us this sweet, gentle soul to love on everyday. I love you snow much, B. 🌨

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Happy birthday, Adeline. Year five. The edges aren Happy birthday, Adeline. Year five. The edges aren’t as jagged anymore from day to day but when the waves come crashing, they still feel just as intense and heavy. You would have been the best big sister to Beckett. He points to the Angel in his room in the mornings and we say “good morning” everyday. He gave me a kiss from his “Addie Bear” at bedtime tonight. He knows. I’m just so angry I can’t watch the two of you grow up together. We all love you so much and miss you and wish you were here with us.
.
.
.
📸: @maplehollowphotography
Necklace: @seededhope
Posting holiday content on schedule would be way o Posting holiday content on schedule would be way off brand for me - so here we are, two days late in true Jean fashion. Any one else have high expectations and poor execution? 🤪 Regardless, how CUTE is he?!
My Valentine’s ❄️🤍❄️ . A snowy Valent My Valentine’s ❄️🤍❄️
.
A snowy Valentine’s Day feels all kinds of magical. Taking a minute for myself (whoa!) and watching the snow fall outside my window from under the coziest of blankets.
.
I think the best snow days are the ones where people from California don’t need to drive anywhere 🤣 What does your “perfect” snow day look like?
My fragile February heart needed this fun snow day My fragile February heart needed this fun snow day with my boy. Next week will be two years since we transferred this little frosty ❄️ in the middle of a Seattle snowstorm. I still can’t believe science brought us this sweet, gentle soul to love on everyday. I love you snow much, B. 🌨
Happy anniversary, love - the one where she was th Happy anniversary, love - the one where she was there 🤍
If you’re wondering if I’m emotional about tin If you’re wondering if I’m emotional about tiny, yellow rain boots (literally no one is wondering) the answer is YES. It’s one of those items I just couldn’t wait to buy.
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B is downright obsessed with being outside and he will bring me my shoes and point to his rain boots so I’ll take him outside.
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Then he grabs my hand and leads me outside. HEART. MELTS.
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His hand in my hand, the tiny yellow rain boots, the smile and our joy when he is outside - I never want to forget these moments and how emotional they make me feel.
.
This is it. This is what I’ve always wanted. 💛
I have been on the verge of tears for a couple wee I have been on the verge of tears for a couple weeks.
.
We have been watching Kingdom on Netflix and there’s a late term pregnancy loss with some really, heavy grief scenes. 
.
It wasn’t the loss itself that knocked the wind out of me but the grief scenes - they were so raw and deep and painful.
.
And I went there, right away.
.
While I have more better and brighter days than dark and painful days now, those tender, griefy spots are and will always be right under the surface.
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I then was unraveling at loss posts and I started beating myself up - where was this coming from? Why was it triggering more than usual?
.
Then I realized, it was almost February. And now here we are. It’s always near impossible for me to physically turn our wall calendar to February. 
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I hate marking another year without our girl.
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I miss her so so much.
19 more days. 🤍
My team, my boys, my everything 🖤 My team, my boys, my everything 🖤
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