A baby shower is not something we thought we would do. I have avoided going to them for the past three years because they are so triggers. I have walked completely around stores to avoid baby things. I have hidden pregnant people and new parents on my Facebook account because it is too hard to […]
On February 25th, in the middle of a record breaking snow storm in Seattle and just 5 days after Adeline’s 3rd heavenly birthday, it was Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) day! This is what I wrote after that incredible day: The day is here! It’s time to tuck an embryo safely inside, hopefully to stay for […]
January 1, 2019 – Retrieval Eve Happy New Year! We were up bright and early for my last blood draw before egg retrieval. We drove into Seattle first thing in the morning and we were in and out of the office, quick and easy. It’s our tradition to take a walk somewhere, anywhere, by the […]
What a wild ride 2018 has been! We have endured the financial, physical, emotional and mental stress that comes with both child loss and infertility. We had many unsuccessful clomid rounds (the fertility gateway drug) and 4 failed IUI’s (Intrauterine insemination) and 2 cancelled IUI’s in this past year and have now arrived to IVF […]
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and yesterday Dylan and I attended the P.S. Walk to Remember for the first time. The family friendly event is put on by P.S. Parent Support to honor and remember all children who have passed far too soon. The walk was short and very sweet through the […]
Summer of 2018 has otherwise been known as the summer of IUI’s in this household. My husband started a new job, with new benefits that cover a portion of IUI’s and I was working early shifts with my afternoons open. My husband graduated from his MBA program, and I had the summer off from my […]
It has been the summer of IUI’s. June’s IUI was unsuccessful, and the beginning of July we had our fifth IUI attempt with 5mg of Letrozole and 75iu of Gonal-F. It was like deja vu going through the motions around the Fourth of July again, as that was when we started any kind of medical […]
Dear Self, Happy 32nd Birthday! It’s pretty amazing, if you think about it. A lot has happened in this time, a lot of good, a lot of bad, a lot of joy, a lot of sadness, a lot of anger and a lot of forgiveness, and so much to learn and grow from. They say […]
Triggers. People have triggers all the time in reaction to all kinds of difficulty. It could be a physical thing, place, a feeling, a person, or something someone says. I have them, lots of them. A few examples of things that trigger me after losing my daughter, Adeline, are: Crying babies Babies Baby sections in […]
I thought for sure this IUI would be it. But to be honest, I think that for each one and every time CD1 (Cycle Day 1) shows up it is just as heartbreaking. We just found out IUI number 3 was yet again, unsuccessful. This was our third one, but fourth attempt; we had one […]
