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Loss, Infertility, Parenthood and Beyond

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Jean //

Pregnancy and Infant Loss, Infertility, Pregnancy, Motherhood and Life After Loss

Recent Posts //

lovingadeline

Here’s to another year of embarrassing each othe

Here’s to another year of embarrassing each other, irritating each other, laughing endlessly and winging parenting together. The world feels like it’s ending and the walls of our home feel like they are shrinking and you are everywhere I turn and though I roll my eyes at you a lot, I’m so glad you’re here with me. Happy anniversary. I love you. I like you. You are my favorite. 🤍#averycovidanniversary

Beckett’s Addie Bears 🐻 Handmade with Adeline

Beckett’s Addie Bears 🐻
Handmade with Adeline’s swaddle blankets.
They are perfect.
Just like my babies.
💖

Better late than never (life lately 🤷🏻‍♀

Better late than never (life lately 🤷🏻‍♀️)
My happy little guy is 10 months old.
.
He loves: eating, the sprinkler, pinecones, leaves, watching cars drive by and waving to the garbage truck on Thursday’s. He loves just about anything outside, loves his books (especially the touch and feel ones), singing, dancing, playing peekaboo, and when we sniff his feet and tell him they are “p-you-stinky” 🤣 Loves being upside down, his bun-bun 🐰 knocking stacks over and did I mention eating? The kid loves to eat. Like a lot. Anything and everything.
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He does not love: Being told he can’t do something independently and still doesn’t like to sleep (we’ve tried all the tricks, he’s just a party animal I guess), and has decided diaper changes and getting dressed are the worst and tries to fling himself off the changing table (why, B, why? 🤪)
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This past month: he’s started signing way more, clapping, climbing (Lord help us), he’s standing up always or pulling himself up, crawls lightning fast and walks along the edges of things. And in the past week or so, he has started to scream. Not a mad or sad scream, not really a happy scream either. Just screaming to scream - just a cool new trick. 🙉
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Mom and dad are: more in love each day, just like all the months past. Thrilled to be watching him grow and change daily, right in front of us. Mom is back to work this month (remote Kindergarten - like what is this world right now? 🤯) Dad is taking the rest of his paternity leave this month so I can get my class off the ground. We are wondering what this is all going to look like when he returns to work.

Remember when we used to go places? I want to go p

Remember when we used to go places? I want to go places again. Today was hard, being home all the time and not seeing people is wearing on me. I am anxious about teaching this year and alarmed at the stuff that is happening (and not happening in response) in our world and I’m just missing connections, hangs, light conversations and adventures. Anyone else feeling weighed down lately? What are you doing to cope?

A rainbow baby is a term that sounds like a situat

A rainbow baby is a term that sounds like a situation where all is beautiful and light and perfect and without pain.

A rainbow baby doesn’t arrive, however, without deep sorrow beforehand.⛈

For some, it’s not even a term they are willing to entertain because it feels too painful, too out of reach, too late, too impossible.

When one pregnancy ripped away becomes another and unfortunately, sometimes even more - the term can lose its significance and just feel like an unfair privilege waving in your face.

I know that this day can bring a range of emotions and each of you have a different relationship with the term rainbow baby. I want to invite you to lean into whatever it is this day drums up for you.

If you’re in the wait for your rainbow, you might be feeling hopeful, maybe hopeless, jealous, angry or defeated. I’ve felt it all, often times all at once. It’s ok to be feeling the way you’re feeling.

If you’ve been avoiding social media today because your heart can’t take it and you’re wondering when and if it will ever be your turn - I see you. I’ve closed the app for many years when this day has happened and if that’s what is good for you today, I encourage you to do so.

This day can be really triggering and if that’s the case for you today, I’m thinking of you and sending gentle hugs. If you need a friend, my inbox is always, always open. 💌

I hope that your rainbow comes if that’s what you’re hoping for, and if it doesn’t, I hope that you’re able to find some peace and closure. 🤍

It was blazing hot here today 🥵. Big fan of the

It was blazing hot here today 🥵. Big fan of the sprinkler around here when there is no AC and it’s 100 degrees both outside and inside. B just rolls with it, he’s so easygoing and always down with whatever. The day ended with loud thunderstorms and delicious milkshakes. I’d be happy to redo this day a million times so long as someone turns down the heat.

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