• Home
  • Blog
    • Family
    • Infertility & Loss
    • Home Sweet Home
  • Resources
  • Published
  • About
  • Contact
  • Fav Finds

Loving Adeline

Loss, Infertility, Parenthood and Beyond

You are here: Home / Blog / I’m Not Brave – I’m Simply A Parent

I’m Not Brave – I’m Simply A Parent

May 20, 2020 Blog, Infertility & Loss

*This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link!*

Originally published at Still Standing Magazine
(A phenomenal resource for those who have experienced or are looking to support someone who has experienced pregnancy and/or infant loss. Your story matters. Do you want to share it? You can write for Still Standing Magazine here.)

You keep telling me how brave I am.
I know you don’t know what else to say to a loss parent.
Sometimes I believe you.
Sometimes I do feel brave.
Sometimes you’re right.

You keep telling me how brave I am.

I think I am too.
I think it’s brave that I left the house today.
That I showed up to a baby shower after sobbing in the car.
That I return to work every day even though I work with kids.
That I messaged you and answered a call from a friend today.

I think it’s brave that I checked the mail even though I know the hospital bills and the baby-related coupons are still flooding the box.

That I didn’t leave Target today when there were multiple babies crying and my surroundings started spinning.

That I logged onto Facebook knowing that the first thing I’d likely see was another announcement or a picture of your living children.

I feel brave when I can do that.

You keep telling me how brave I am.

There are so many things that I can’t always do.
So when I can,
When I can face you,
When I attend a social gathering,

When I don’t walk completely around the store just to avoid the baby section, then I believe you.

I feel brave when I can do that.

You keep telling me how brave I am.

But sometimes…
Sometimes it feels insulting.

When I post pictures of my daughter,
When I wish her a happy birthday,
And my husband a Happy Father’s Day.
When I talk about my daughter,
When I say her name.

You think it’s so brave when I talk about the memories I have of her and my pregnancy.

There is nothing that can be done to take away the pain of losing a child, regardless of the age or circumstance. A simple small gift to let your loved one know you are thinking of them and their angel(s) goes a long ways.
There’s More to my Story Tee | Angel Mama Necklace |
Forget Me Not Necklace | Angel Mama Tee

You keep telling me how brave I am.

But here’s the thing,
A lot of the times when you say this,
It feels like a blow.

What if I told you how brave you were?
On your child’s birthday,
When you post a picture of the day your kid was born,
When you share memories of your children,
When you hang their stocking on the mantle.
Or save your favorite outfits of theirs.

Do you feel brave when you do that?

Or do you… feel like a parent?

You keep telling me how brave I am.

Sometimes I believe you.
Sometimes I feel brave.
Sometimes you’re right.

You keep telling me how brave I am.

But when I’m talking about my daughter,
Honoring her,
Telling you about her,
Sharing pictures of her with the world,

When I do this,
I don’t believe you.
I don’t feel brave.

I feel like a parent.

Leave a Comment Categories: Blog, Infertility & Loss
Share :

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Let’s connect

  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

Don't miss a thing

Featured Posts

Small Guest Bathroom Makeover | The Before, Inspiration and Vision

15 Newborn Essentials to Make Life Easier

loving adeline im not brave im a parent

I’m Not Brave – I’m Simply A Parent

Find me on insta @lovingadeline

The ones who make me the happiest 🖤
.
.
.
.
.
📸: @kep_photos
This child is as wild as his head full of curly lo This child is as wild as his head full of curly locks 🧡
One month of Avery (+ a day)🦋 9lbs 2oz, 21” One month of Avery (+ a day)🦋 
9lbs 2oz, 21” long
.
I love: being held, staring intently at the face of whoever is holding me, holding my hands up by my face (bonus points if I can find a hand or fingers to suck on!), snoozing, the baby bjorn bouncer, the swing, being sung to, car rides and walks outside with the family.
.
I do not love: diaper changes, tummy time, the initial moments of a bath.
.
During this month: my parents and I had an extra two night sleepover at the hospital to get my moms blood pressure sorted it and Grandma stayed with big brother, I’ve rolled over from tummy to back every time my parents have tried to get me to do tummy time, I’ve been trying really hard to give my parents at least one 3 hour stretch of sleep a night and have just been hanging at home and having a lot of quality time with my parents and big brother.
.
My parents are: sleepy, in love and trying to settle in to juggling me and big brother. That kid has a lot of energy!
.
📸: @kep_photos
Matching jammies are what dreams are made of 💖 Matching jammies are what dreams are made of 💖
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
@littlesleepies

What I’ve been Reading

Brave Shop

  • Brave Crewneck $38.00
  • Together Crewneck $38.00
  • Brave Youth Tee $24.00

Looking for something?

Categories

  • Blog
  • Family
  • Home Sweet Home
  • Infertility & Loss
  • Pregnancy & Infant Loss

Fine Print

Terms of Service

Privacy Policy

Disclosure Statement

About

Copyright © 2018 Loving Adeline

The ones who make me the happiest 🖤
.
.
.
.
.
📸: @kep_photos
This child is as wild as his head full of curly lo This child is as wild as his head full of curly locks 🧡
One month of Avery (+ a day)🦋 9lbs 2oz, 21” One month of Avery (+ a day)🦋 
9lbs 2oz, 21” long
.
I love: being held, staring intently at the face of whoever is holding me, holding my hands up by my face (bonus points if I can find a hand or fingers to suck on!), snoozing, the baby bjorn bouncer, the swing, being sung to, car rides and walks outside with the family.
.
I do not love: diaper changes, tummy time, the initial moments of a bath.
.
During this month: my parents and I had an extra two night sleepover at the hospital to get my moms blood pressure sorted it and Grandma stayed with big brother, I’ve rolled over from tummy to back every time my parents have tried to get me to do tummy time, I’ve been trying really hard to give my parents at least one 3 hour stretch of sleep a night and have just been hanging at home and having a lot of quality time with my parents and big brother.
.
My parents are: sleepy, in love and trying to settle in to juggling me and big brother. That kid has a lot of energy!
.
📸: @kep_photos
Matching jammies are what dreams are made of 💖 Matching jammies are what dreams are made of 💖
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
@littlesleepies
Endless rain in the PNW, but these two are my suns Endless rain in the PNW, but these two are my sunshine ☀️
B asked to hold Baby Sister for the first time thi B asked to hold Baby Sister for the first time this morning. My heart is completely melted. 🤍
My sweet sweet boy, your life has changed in the b My sweet sweet boy, your life has changed in the blink of an eye and you are such an incredible brother already. You are our cautious, empathetic kiddo and when baby sister came home you were just that… very interested - from a distance. Very concerned - from a distance. Very curious and instantly in love - from a distance. You’re warming up to her, scooting closer on the couch, giving gentle head kisses, and always asking where she is when she isn’t in your sight. We are all in a huge adjustment period around here and learning how to split our energy and make sure you’re still feeling all the love you deserve. We know there are many hard moments and learning curves to come and I just hope you always know how proud of you we are. 🤍
Happy birthday and Happy Earth Day to our little h Happy birthday and Happy Earth Day to our little happy hippie, Avery. 🌍🌱🌞♻️ Everyone is happy, healthy and oh so tired. We can’t wait to go home to meet big brother. 💚
LETS GET SOCIAL
 

Follow me on instagram @lovingadeline

  • Instagram
Loving Adeline. All Rights Reserved.Design by SkyandStars.co
Back Top

Copyright © 2022 · LoveYourself on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

By continuing to browse the site you are agreeing to our use of cookies.