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You are here: Home / Blog / I’m Not Brave – I’m Simply A Parent

I’m Not Brave – I’m Simply A Parent

May 20, 2020 Blog, Infertility & Loss

*This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link!*

Originally published at Still Standing Magazine
(A phenomenal resource for those who have experienced or are looking to support someone who has experienced pregnancy and/or infant loss. Your story matters. Do you want to share it? You can write for Still Standing Magazine here.)

You keep telling me how brave I am.
I know you don’t know what else to say to a loss parent.
Sometimes I believe you.
Sometimes I do feel brave.
Sometimes you’re right.

You keep telling me how brave I am.

I think I am too.
I think it’s brave that I left the house today.
That I showed up to a baby shower after sobbing in the car.
That I return to work every day even though I work with kids.
That I messaged you and answered a call from a friend today.

I think it’s brave that I checked the mail even though I know the hospital bills and the baby-related coupons are still flooding the box.

That I didn’t leave Target today when there were multiple babies crying and my surroundings started spinning.

That I logged onto Facebook knowing that the first thing I’d likely see was another announcement or a picture of your living children.

I feel brave when I can do that.

You keep telling me how brave I am.

There are so many things that I can’t always do.
So when I can,
When I can face you,
When I attend a social gathering,

When I don’t walk completely around the store just to avoid the baby section, then I believe you.

I feel brave when I can do that.

You keep telling me how brave I am.

But sometimes…
Sometimes it feels insulting.

When I post pictures of my daughter,
When I wish her a happy birthday,
And my husband a Happy Father’s Day.
When I talk about my daughter,
When I say her name.

You think it’s so brave when I talk about the memories I have of her and my pregnancy.

There is nothing that can be done to take away the pain of losing a child, regardless of the age or circumstance. A simple small gift to let your loved one know you are thinking of them and their angel(s) goes a long ways.
There’s More to my Story Tee | Angel Mama Necklace |
Forget Me Not Necklace | Angel Mama Tee

You keep telling me how brave I am.

But here’s the thing,
A lot of the times when you say this,
It feels like a blow.

What if I told you how brave you were?
On your child’s birthday,
When you post a picture of the day your kid was born,
When you share memories of your children,
When you hang their stocking on the mantle.
Or save your favorite outfits of theirs.

Do you feel brave when you do that?

Or do you… feel like a parent?

You keep telling me how brave I am.

Sometimes I believe you.
Sometimes I feel brave.
Sometimes you’re right.

You keep telling me how brave I am.

But when I’m talking about my daughter,
Honoring her,
Telling you about her,
Sharing pictures of her with the world,

When I do this,
I don’t believe you.
I don’t feel brave.

I feel like a parent.

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I’m pretty positive this is no longer a trend bu I’m pretty positive this is no longer a trend but, listen, if you thought I wasn’t going to do it then you were wrong. Some of these silly things I’ve waited too long to participate in and who gives a damn if it’s not cool today. It sure makes my heart happy and look how cute she is.

Watch all the way to the end for my personal fave 😝
.
.
.
#starbuckschallenge #adreamcometrue #december #discoverunder5k
Baby girls first pumpkin season 🎃 Baby girls first pumpkin season 🎃
Gotta love him 🤪 Gotta love him 🤪
Such a mighty little lion 🦁 . Fun little throwb Such a mighty little lion 🦁
.
Fun little throwback to B’s costume from last year. The hat is sold out and the clothes are Zara. I rounded up some similar stuff and linked it: https://liketk.it/3R1me
•
•
•
•
•
#lovingadeline #motherhoodisdarling #magicalchildhood #holdthemoments #mommyblog #halloweendiy #spookyseason #spookyszn #motherhoodthroughinstagram #kidshalloween #halloweenreels #halloweenforkids #spooktober #diycostume #costumeinspiration #toddlercostume #babycostume #partyanimalbirthday
My little Wild One . . B as Max from Where the Wil My little Wild One
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B as Max from Where the Wild Things Are for Halloween 2020 / his 1st birthday 
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Shop details: https://liketk.it/3R07F
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