NIAW 2020 // Advocate Spotlight with Arden, Alyssa, Janine and Natalie

With the start of National Infertility Awareness Week #NIAW2020 in full swing, I am feeling all the feels. The brave voices speaking out and speaking up about infertility and the ways it has impacted their lives is incredible. I don’t for one second, wish this experience on anyone however I am constantly blown away by the way this community supports and lifts each other up, every step of the way.

I hope you’ve had a chance to read yesterday’s Advocate Spotlight with Krista, Jenny and Eva. If you haven’t had a chance, you can read it here! These women and their stories speak incredible volumes of strength and are each so different.

Throughout this week, you will continue to hear from women from the community here on Loving Adeline sharing a bit of their story. I encourage you to follow along and get to know these women a bit.

If you are someone feeling alone in this muck, these women would welcome a message from you with open arms. My hope is that by sharing with you the journeys of these women who share openly on public platforms that you are able to find someone who’s story resonates with you.

If you are someone wondering how you can support someone in your life that is going through this, these women are sharing what they want you to know and how they feel most supported.

Arden ( IG:@ardenmcartrette )
http://hello-warrior.com
Female Factor Infertility and Unexplained Infertility
Mom to baby boy

How long have you/did you navigate infertility?
2.5 years

Where were you in your journey when you found this corner of the internet? Where are you now?
6 months in.

 

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A post shared by 𝙰𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎 (@ardenmcartrette) on Aug 13, 2019 at 11:25am PDT

What does this community mean to you?
Is it cliche to say “everything”? It’s given me a sense of community, people to talk to who get what I’m going through and it’s helped me learn so much about what I was going through.

What has been the most challenging for you (and your partner)?
Communication at times. We both grieve and handle disappointment so differently.

We all crave support in different ways. What makes you feel the most supported?
When someone checks in on me and asks how I’m doing.

 

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Infertility changed me in ways that I’ll never truly be able to put into words. It’s not only been the source of many dark days but it’s brought me into this online community that has shown me more support than I ever thought was possible. Especially when it came to something as isolating as struggling to get and stay pregnant as a 20-something year old woman. Roughly 1 in 8 couples (I imagine this statistic is always changing) struggle to get pregnant. Kerry and I started seeing a fertility specialist after a year of trying to conceive. I questioned if I had endometriosis (still unknown 🤷‍♀️) and we learned (thanks to the help of @proovtest) that I had a progesterone deficiency after ovulation. Long story short – we focused on the progesterone and that did help us get pregnant! But after finding out that I needed progesterone after ovulation, that wasn’t the end of our journey to being parents This week is National Infertility Awareness Week and I want to keep this conversation going. Raising our voices and talking about the depths of infertility is the way we can all raise awareness. All week on hello-warrior.com, I’ve welcomed guest bloggers who are all influential women in the online #InfertilityCommunity to tell their story, discuss topics related to infertility that are important to them and help me continue to raise awareness. If you don’t follow these women, this will be the perfect time for you to be introduced to them! To kick off #NIAW, I’m sharing a few lessons that infertility taught me, my favorite books that discuss infertility, my favorite resources and I link to the women that you’ll be hearing about this week! Link in stories to the blog post! ✨ I’ll also put a swipe up to our infertility and loss journey to those who are new here! We are 1 in 8 and while I’m so happy to be on the other side and have Cameron in my arms – my journey through trying to conceive, struggling to conceive, and experiencing multiple miscarriages will always be a part of both my story and Cameron’s 💙

A post shared by 𝙰𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎 (@ardenmcartrette) on Apr 19, 2020 at 12:06pm PDT

What would you like others to know who haven’t been through this?
That it’s extremely isolating – even if you have a support system.

What would you like to say to someone that is either just beginning this process and/or is going through this in silence?
Know that you don’t have to share your journey with others to be brave or strong. And most importantly, all of your feelings are valid.

 

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Here’s a list of some of the things that I wish someone had told me when I first got my infertility diagnosis (that really wasn’t a diagnosis at all). And then I wish people would have reminded me of this after each of my miscarriages. Even as I sit here pregnant, I still feel some of these emotions or a different spectrum of them at least. It took me a long time to really understand that it is okay to feel however I feel. Anger, jealousy, joy, sadness. Especially as a woman, I feel that I’ve always been told that emotions, like jealousy, were negative but as I get older – I totally disagree. Openly admitting when I feel jealous of someone else is such a freeing feeling. There’s nothing wrong with feeling these emotions but there is something wrong with feeling like we have to hide those emotions, that’s where it becomes negative and toxic (at least, in my opinion). No matter what you are going through, fertility-related or not, your pain is valid and justified. If ya’ll are anything like me, you always think “but someone has it worse. How can I be upset over this?” But the truth is, this is YOUR story. This is YOUR life. You cannot compare your situation to someone else’s because that’s not yours and it’s not fair to yourself. A lot of women message me and ask me how I can read stories about miscarriage or continue to talk and raise awareness for miscarriage while I’m currently pregnant and honestly, it’s not easy. In no way is reading stories like that easy but those stories deserve to be heard. When something is upsetting or triggering, I remind myself that my story is different and it’s unique to me. What has happened to me in the past is even its own separate thing. What’s a piece of advice that you wish someone would have given you before you started trying to conceive? Before you started fertility treatment (honestly, I wish someone would have told me to get maternity leggings before I started letrozole lol) Or during the recovery of a miscarriage? Tell me in the comments! 💕

A post shared by 𝙰𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎 (@ardenmcartrette) on Nov 8, 2019 at 9:20am PST

Alyssa ( IG:@themachtales )
Female Factor Infertility

How long have you/did you navigate infertility?
2.5 years

Where were you in your journey when you found this corner of the internet? Where are you now?
About 1 year TTC

 

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A post shared by 𝙰𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚜𝚊 𝙼𝚊𝚌𝚑 (@themachtales) on Apr 18, 2020 at 11:56am PDT

What does this community mean to you?
Everything. Helps me know I’m not alone.

What has been the most challenging for you (and your partner)?
Not having any answers as to why I keep miscarrying.

 

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A post shared by 𝙰𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚜𝚊 𝙼𝚊𝚌𝚑 (@themachtales) on Mar 14, 2020 at 6:44am PDT

We all crave support in different ways. What makes you feel the most supported?
When someone reaches out to me just to let me know they are there.

What would you like others to know who haven’t been through this?
We are still the same people we were before infertility.

What would you like to say to someone that is either just beginning this process and/or is going through this in silence?
You are not alone.

Janine ( IG:@movingmntns )
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoCDNOScGePhUQgQJRoacRg
Female Factor and Male Factor Infertility
Expecting IVF Twins

How long have you/did you navigate infertility?
22 months.

Where were you in your journey when you found this corner of the internet?
14 months

 

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A post shared by JANINE (@movingmntns) on Jan 14, 2020 at 6:15pm PST

What does this community mean to you?
I’ve made some of my closest friends through the community and would still feel alone without it.

What has been the most challenging for you (and your partner)?
Feeling like our first RE was trying to push us towards treatment that would have been a waste of time and money with our diagnosis. Found a new RE and it made a world of difference. We don’t regret going straight to IVF at all.

We all crave support in different ways. What makes you feel the most supported?
When people reached out to check in on how we were doing throughout the process.

What would you like others to know who haven’t been through this?
It sucks and sometimes that’s all we need to hear. Not “to relax” or “just adopt” etc.

 

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Thank you @drewpaintsivf for creating such beautiful art with our embabies. Thank you thank you THANK YOU! 💕 . 📸Post thaw: Embryologist 1/13/20 Artist: @drewpaintsivf . . . . #embryowatercolor #embryoart #embabiesofinstagram #ivfbabies #ivftwins #pregnantwithtwins #pregnancyafterivf #pregnancyafterinfertility #ivfembabies #twinmom

A post shared by JANINE (@movingmntns) on Apr 11, 2020 at 8:55am PDT

What would you like to say to someone that is either just beginning this process and/or is going through this in silence?
You don’t have to do it alone. There’s a whole army out there who will support you every step of the way.

Shop Mixbook’s Metal Prints

Natalie (IG: ___natie____ )
Female Factor Infertility and Single Parent by Choice
Mother to IVF baby, Harry.

What fertility treatments have you done?
2 egg retrievals, 2 transfers. A twin ectopic & miscarriage in one pregnancy (yep triplets), and a high risk pregnancy with my son. Losing both Fallopian tubes during IVF.

How long have you/did you navigate infertility?
12 months actively trying IVF. Even longer looking for a partner.

 

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My little love ❤️

A post shared by Natie (@___natie____) on Mar 28, 2020 at 2:57pm PDT

Where were you in your journey when you found this corner of the internet? Where are you now?
I found the world of Instagram when I was first starting back in 2017, I’m now raising my 9 month old son.

What does this community mean to you?
Support. There’s always someone to relate to, share experiences and guidance through the ups and downs.

What has been the most challenging for you (and your partner)?
People assume that because I’m a solo mother by choice that I didn’t struggle with infertility, loss or financial stress. There’s sometimes an assumption that I didn’t have troubles having a baby, that I didn’t lose a part of my soul during the process because it was by choice. Although partner or not, IVF was always my only route to a baby. And that my journey to find a partner started a decade ago. Not being able to try for a baby is hard.

We all crave support in different ways. What makes you feel the most supported?
Interaction, being heard and spoken to.

What would you like others to know who haven’t been through this?
Infertility is a roller coaster, there’s good, bad, some sharp twists and turns, you can always get off the ride and you’ll be different when it’s finished with you!

 

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A post shared by Natie (@___natie____) on Apr 20, 2020 at 4:16am PDT

What would you like to say to someone that is either just beginning this process and/or is going through this in silence?
There are so many people going through what you are and you don’t have to do it in silence.