NIAW 2020 // Advocate Spotlight with Krista, Jenny, and Eva


Blog, Infertility / Monday, April 20th, 2020
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NIAW

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week #NIAW and each year I am blown away by the passionate advocacy from those whose lives have been shook by infertility in one way or another.

Throughout the week, you will find some incredible humans spotlighted here on Loving Adeline sharing a bit of their story. I encourage you to follow along and get to know these women a bit.

If you are someone feeling alone in this muck, these women would welcome a message from you with open arms. My hope is that by sharing with you the journeys of these women who share openly on public platforms that you are able to find someone who’s story resonates with you.

Krista (IG:@home.onthetenth)
Female Factor Infertility, Endometriosis, Fibroids, and Child Free Not By Choice

How long have you / did you navigate infertility?
4+ years

Where were you in your journey when you found this corner of the internet?
About 1 year

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by K R I S T A (@home.onthetenth) on

What does this community mean to you?
It’s a safe place. No one understands what you’re feeling better than a stranger who is going through or has gone through the same thing. It’s a club that I never thought I’d be a part of, but strangely am grateful I am. It’s a place full of women who’ve got your back. It’s been my therapy and education and backbone through this. I’ve made some of the deepest connections with women who I’ve never met in person but consider my best friends.

What has been the most challenging for you (and your partner)?
So many things. Intimacy looks very different. Life plans have been put on hold. The overwhelming jealousy and heartache that comes from watching loved ones grow their families while you struggle to. Not recognizing ourselves for it. Becoming less social as a couple to protect my mental health.

We all crave support in different ways. What makes you feel the most supported?
When health professionals validate that what I’m experiencing is hard and what I’m feeling and thinking is normal. When my friends and family send me thoughtful gifts and make kind gestures to let me know they are thinking of me during treatment cycles, surgery or loss. When my loved ones or ttc sisters thoughtfully let me know they are expecting. An extra long hug from my husband to let me know he’s got me and it’s all going to be okay. 


What would you like others to know who haven’t been through this?
For those expecting; please be mindful of your loved ones who’ve been fighting hard to be where you are. Your happy moments don’t always feel that way to someone fighting to conceive. Pregnancy announcements are a trigger, and a reminder that what they are trying so hard for is not working. Please thoughtfully let your infertile friends know you’re expecting. Do not announce on social media or at a social gathering without reaching out to let them know first. For those who aren’t planning a family yet, please educate yourself on what a healthy (notice I didn’t say normal…) reproductive cycle looks like and if you’ve been on birth control for most of your life please consider getting off of it to see what a normal cycle is for you. So many women have no idea there is a problem until they try for a baby, and the underlying issue has likely been there for quite some time. That there is really only a 24 hour period where you can actually become pregnant. Gosh so so many things. 

What would you like to say to someone that is either just beginning this process and/or is going through this in silence?
You’re going to have good days and bad days, and that’s okay. Honour your feelings on the bad days. Advocate for yourself. If the medical advice doesn’t feel right, speak up. You are not a number, and no one knows your body better than you! Do your research and reach out to women who’ve gone through the same or similar. These women are your allies and your greatest resources. You can find us on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, peer groups through your fertility clinic. Know someone from real life who has gone through this? Reach out and ask them your questions. They’ve been in your shoes and would love nothing more than to help you out. Set social boundaries if you need to. Going to a baby shower isn’t worth it if it means you’re going to spend the rest of your weekend mentally unable to get out of bed. What’s happy for them doesn’t need to be happy for you. 

Jenny (IG:@jennyleeyoung)
Female Factor Infertility
Six year journey to IVF miracle, Kellyn


Where were you in your journey when you found this corner of the internet?
4 years into our journey I began speaking out about infertility and found this wonderful internet community! We had done 4 IUIs and were at a standstill deciding what to do next…(pursue IVF or adoption). It was a really difficult decision for us that took 2 years for us to make!

What does this community mean to you?
This community means so much to me! I have made lifelong friends through the online TTC community. It’s so comforting having friends who get it. 

What has been the most challenging for you (and your partner)?
The unknown & waiting through the unknown. 

 
 
 
 
 
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A post shared by j e n n y y o u n g (@jennyleeyoung) on


We all crave support in different ways. What makes you feel the most supported?
Just simple check ins or when important dates are remembered. TTC friends are good at remembering important dates!

What would you like others to know who haven’t been through this?
There’s too much! But I guess just how hard it is on all levels…emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, etc. 

What would you like to say to someone that is either just beginning this process and/or is going through this in silence?
I’m sorry you’re going through this. You’re not alone. There is so much support out there and so many people who will wrap their arms around you during this time if you reach out! 

Eva (IG:@one_plump_egg)
Female Factor Infertility, PCOS and Same Sex Family Building
Expecting a Miracle

How long have you / did you navigate infertility?
Three years 

Where were you in your journey when you found this corner of the internet?
20 months in, after trying at home and then being diagnosed with PCOS 

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Today was a beautiful day to welcome home our embryo 🥳 It has taken a LOT to get to this point. IVF is not glamorous. It is countless ultrasounds, blood draws, and shots, not to mention the rollercoaster of emotions and heavy financial burden. But here we are today, celebrating all we’ve done to get here and revelling in the strength and love that has carried us through the last 8 months. Welcome to your human incubator, baby B! Nestle on in, snuggle up tight, set up camp, or do whatever gets you nice and cozy for the next 9 months 🏕 . . . #ivfjourney #ivfsupport #embryotransfer #ivfstrong #ivfstrongertogether #ivfwarrior #ivfcommunity #fetcountdown #twomoms #fet #transferday #frozenembryotransfer #infertilitycommunity #fertilityjourney #ivfgotthis #infertilitywarrior #ivf #thisiswhativflookslike #fertilitysupport #lovewins #oneplumpegg #lesbiansttc #fertilityawareness #infertility #lovemakesafamily #infertilityjourney #thisiswhatinfertilitylookslike #spermdonor #lesbianmoms

A post shared by @ one_plump_egg on


What does this community mean to you?
It makes me feel so much less alone to find people around the world going through similar battles. Having women to bond with over shots/hormones/disappointment/failed treatment. 

What has been the most challenging for you (and your partner)?
Finding hope during the darkest times, remembering who we are outside of infertility. 

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Today marks 730 days since we started at-home inseminations. 28 doctor visits, 15 blood draws, 11 plane flights, 6 months of hormones, 5 procedures, and 2 contracts later, we’re still waiting. still hopeful. still determined to grow our family. 👶🌈 . . . #ivfjourney #ivfsupport #ivfstrong #ivfsupport #ivfwarrior #ivfcommunity #ivfcountdown #twomoms #twomomclub #whativflookslike #infertilitycommunity #sperm #fertilityjourney #infertilitywarrior #ivf #fertilitysupport #queerfamily #oneplumpegg #lesbiansttc #fertilityawareness #infertility #lovemakesafamily #knowndonor #infertilityjourney #thisiswhatinfertilitylookslike #spermdonor #lesbianmums #lesbianmoms

A post shared by @ one_plump_egg on


We all crave support in different ways. What makes you feel the most supported?
Being checked in with, both on important procedure days and on regular weekdays. 

What would you like others to know who haven’t been through this?
It is all consuming. It is difficult. Give us grace. We are doing our best, even on the hardest days. 

What would you like to say to someone that is either just beginning this process and/or is going through this in silence?
THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

      niaw2020

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